Attendant

I've just been commissioned to make a sound piece for the toilets of South Square gallery, just outside Bradford. I'm going to work with toilet attendants to tell a story about space and ownership, economics and piss.

I want to speak to toilet attendants about their experiences, record interviews with them, and then use their words along with sound recordings of the toilets in which they work to make the piece. I'm interested in the precarious nature of their jobs, and I also want to ask them about their occupation of transient space. Toilet attendants work in places not designed to accommodate them - both economically and physically.

The gallery is in a rural setting, and I want the urban-ness of toilet attendants to be at the forefront of the work. The idea of a toilet attendant is only possible in places like clubs and bars - places where a job (if not a living wage...) can be sustained simply by the volume of people passing through.

I'm just starting to research toilet attendant culture, and one thing that comes up is the jokes and rhymes that are used by the attendants. Toilet attendants seem to often take on the role or persona of a 'smiley', humorous and friendly man.

Here is a list of rhymes used by toilet attendants to persuade people to try the aftershave that they proffer in exchange for tips. All based on the popular perception of sex as the consequence of grooming, and an affirmation and definition of stereotypical male/hetro space.

No splash, no gash.

No spray, no lay.

No Armani, no punani.

No Armani Code ya don't shoot the load.

No tissue, no issue.

No CK no BJ.

No Davidoff no suck you off.

Wash you fingers for the mingers.

No Gucci, no coochie.

No Kalvin Clein, no vagine.